MIA

Oh hey! Do you remember seeing a fourth contributor on the list but noticed that she hasn't said anything yet?

Yeah, that's me.

I'm Maggie, but I've also been known to respond to Mags, Magpie, Magpie-Jay, Magoo or anything that essentially starts with an 'M'. I'm a 21 year old college student majoring in broadcast journalism at the #1 Missouri School of Journalism.

So what makes me qualified?

I'm a big city girl stuck in the middle of nowhere. Although I can't pinpoint one specific place that I grew up, I spent my most influential years in Dallas, Texas. From ages 12-18, I lived in an area where I could list 5 malls off the top of my head that were less than an hours drive from my home (depending on traffic).

I wouldn't describe my style as the most trendy (I'm more of a conservative sophistication person...think JCrew), but I know what matches, what's hideous, and when people should simply go naked rather than wear what they have on.

I have several posts in the works currently. But I will warn you - I have 60 hours of my week filled with work, class, and working at the news station. My posts may be few and far between...but I promise to put a hole-hearted effort into each and every one of them. Feel free to agree, disagree, or laugh at my OCD regarding specific topics.

Hol(e)y Homless Fashion!

Welcome back, lovelies. I hope your weekend was fabulous!

Over the weekend, I happened to put on a favorite t-shirt of mine only to find the bottom left hem riddled with holes. Now, this really isn't new to me. As a former smoker, I often ponystepped (yes, I do often pretend I'm on a catwalk and prance to the rhythm of whichever song is playing on my iPod) down the avenues of Chicago unknowingly catching the fibers of my oversized jersey thin tunics and leaving little cigarette burns. Personally, it adds to my aesthetic. I roll out of bed, shower, slap on some way too funky and glittery eye make up, add earrings and maybe some sort of accessory for the fro, and throw on some probably wrinkled clothes. After all, my personal brand is "anti-corporation, label-free (or at least not showing), androgynous/artist chic". Oh, sidenote, you should always know and "own" your personal brand! I have decided to work/go to school in arenas where my personal brand does not negatively influence my credibility.

However, I know there are several of you out there that think slightly unkempt is unforgiveable. I present my newest discussion:

Can one wear holey/well-worn clothes and still be fashionable?

Let's face it folks, the economy being as it has been for the last few years, most of us just haven't had the funds to continuously revamp our wardrobes. I had to learn this lesson the hard way and I still shed a little tear everytime I walk down State or my bus rolls down Michigan. I miss new clothes like an extremely attractive ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. I know I can survive without them, but damn did they look good. But, it seems that for most the days of frivilous spending are slim.

I feel that there is nothing wrong with little holes in t-shirts or holes in your cut-offs (those are pants that were constructed into shorts). However, you most likely won't find me wearing those God-awful jeans with rips and tears throughout the entire leg. I think those are best for those with little body fat because they cause little fat bunches to peek through the holes leaving blood constriction patterns all over your legs when you take them off. That's unsightly.

I feel that celebrities have adopted the trend w(hole)-heartedly. Don't think you weren't going to escape from my unnatural obsession with Robert Pattinson! This man does homeless-chic like none other! They are given (possibly buying, but usually given) clothing worth thousands of dollars and they still opt for the deconstructed look. Why?

There are some that take it to the extreme. I have seen pictures of the Olsen twins looking like something I pulled out of my drain back when I wore 16-18 inch weaves. That's not cute. Perhaps there's a thin line between shabby chic and having people drop change into your Dunkin Donuts cup when you're sitting and waiting for your bus?

So instead of me ranting on and on about the topic, I want to hear from the community. Are you buying into the trend? What is your personal brand? Do you partake in the possible dangers of mistaken poorness from deconstructed duds? Is there a spectrum of holey heaven and holey hell? Or does homeless fashion need to freeze to death on a park bench?

[Fashion] holes...when you're in one, stop digging???

The Attack of the Clog

The return of the clog; thick and chunky awfulness. People affectionately refer to these monstrosities as "The Fat Woman's Stiletto" or "The Big Girl's Bandolino".  No matter how you try and justify these shoes, they are unacceptable. 

Acceptable situations to wear these shoes:

-Britney Spears "Hit me baby (One More Time)" theme party

-Drag Shows (if you're the queen)

-Tromping through cow shit in a field (no reason to ruin your cute shoes)

Unacceptable situations to wear these shoes:

-Anything other than the above mentioned situations

The moral of this story is that no, these shoes are not cute, not fashionable, not practical.  

If you put on a pair of shoes and have to use a hoist to lift your foot, do not wear them. 

oh HELL no!

Seriously?  Come on Beyonce we all know you know better.  You simply cannot wear a loud print shirt with a loud print bottom!

Nike's Women's Tempo Track Running Shorts

Nike and Fashion.  That's right I said it.

While I admit that when you go to the gym, the thing you care about the most is comfort.  And these short little shorts look pretty comfortable.  But let's be honest, they have NO fashion value.  These shorts belong in the gym, or loungin' around the house.  They do not belong in my office.  I don't want to see that much leg ... at least from a girl.

ATTENTION GIRLS : STOP WEARING THESE TO WORK.

thanks.

Can one be too matchy matchy ?

Simply put, yes.  One can be too matchy matchy, but the secret to success is knowing the following:

1.  What matches what and;
2.  What items do I need to match.

Here's my rule of thumb for men.  And this is an always always !  Your shoes must match your belt.  Black shoes, black belt.  Brown shoes, brown belt.  And obviously (I hope this is obvious) if you're going with athletic shoes, either belt choice will more than likely work.  It is entirely possible you have a belt that's neither black nor brown (like my orange belt) and then you have base your shoe decision on the rest of the outfit. 

For women it's fairly simple as well.  Your shoes must match your purse!  Everything else will fall in place if you use that small bit of advice.  A nice touch would be a matching accessory of some kind...a watch, something for your hair or jewelry. 

In my mind there's only one place (outside your home) where these rules do not apply and that's the gym.  You're headed there to work out and sweat ... not to show everyone how you can match.  But that doesn't mean you can't look cute there :-)

Here my two cents on matching ties to shirts for the gentlemen.  Correct me if I'm wrong readers, but I'm quite sure that the same color shirt and matching tie days are long over.  I'm not even sure that was fashionable.  You match your tie to your shirt by matching the color of the shirt to the most dominant color in the tie.  Don't be afraid to match striped ties to striped shirts BUT the stripes MUST be different sizes and one of which should be diagonal.  Don't be afraid to match patterns either and remember to be bold in your tie choices!

While it is very important for women to make their handbags match, it would be ridiculous to make a man make his wallet match, however; if you do match your wallet to your outfit ... I applaud you (tho you may be TOO MATCHY MATCHY)

I personally match three items of my outfit when I go to work: my shoes, my belts and my messenger bag ... and on occasion a 4th, my watch.

I hope this short post helps.

I won't even begin to touch on the topic of colors.  Can you wear black and brown together?  Can you wear gray with khaki?  Do you wear blacks or browns with blues?  Maybe Maggie can shed some light on those :-)

Good night all.

The Dark Side of the Mank

In order to understand my reasoning behind this post, you should probably understand a little about SkinnyIsDead.

I have been called, too many times to count, a hipster. First, I don't believe that those who really belong to a culture feel the need to define themselves. They just live. Second, I'm not nearly as cool as the people I think are "hipsters". Third, I love menswear! I love it so much I love an androgynous aesthetic on women. It's classic. It's sexy. So many of my blog posts will focus on menswear.

For this "hipster" notion, no, I don't ride a fixed speed bike or own a beach cruiser. I want a beach cruiser, but I'm weird about fat people on bikes. Just me??? No, I don't smoke cigarettes standing outside of dive bars...anymore. I recently quit unless you're offering me a menthol...let's go. No, I don't have an ironic finger moustache tattoo. Yes, I do have a tattoo of a duck wearing a scarf and sneakers. No, I don't know about cool bands years before everyone else. Yes, I do spend hours digging around online for music that I pray never reaches Top 40 radio. No, I don't have a "full-time job" or "benefits", and yes, my bank...ahem ahem...parents, still offer a large amount of financial assistance so that I can go to school, learn more, and be even more pretentious than I already am. Do I love the shit out of some cheap beer and some electro beats? In the name of all that is Daft Punk and the soon to be released Tron: Legacy soundtrack...Y.E.S.

In a nod to Sojourner Truth, "Ain't I a Hipster"?

On with the (fashion) show.

This summer in Chicago, I've had the dis/pleasure of running into several men wearing a mank. In the places I frequent (which are pretty much school, art events, concerts, work, and the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry's Mission to Marzipan) I've seen several manks. A mank is man tank top. A mank top. Not the athletic wear tank top. A fashion piece popularized partially by the current obsession with the flailing company American Apparel. Personally, I find absolutely nothing wrong with the mank. Unless the mank ends up on the wrong man. Here and now, I extend to you:

SkinnyIsDead's Five Simple Rules to Wearing a Mank

1. Know your mank acceptable locale.

Don't wear your mank to a corporate job. No one wants you standing over their TPS reports with your gnarly arm pit hair stabbing them in the eyeball.

2. Know your body.

I tend not to go sleeveless. You see, a large amount of my body fat has accumulated in my upper arm so that the length of my arm somewhat resembles a cooked drumstick from any member of the poultry family. If you have unpproportional arms, the mank may not be for you. It's ok, we've got shorty shorts!

3. Know your sweat level.

Nothing ruins the allure of the mank like a neck, back, or arm pit sweat ring. If you hit the trifecta and have all three, I'll probably offer to escort you to the nearest Walgreen's or CVS to buy some deodorant. Unless you are a DJ, are at an outdoor festival in sweltering heat, or are wearing a sports-appropriate tank, you should never have a sweaty mank.

4. Know your mank has an age limit.

As the old adage goes, you're only as old as you feel, but I personally think the mank works best on the 0-40 crowd. If you a taut 60 year old with killer pecs, get your mank out. But, if you're in the perils of midlife crisis and your breasts resemble those of your wife whose tits have been suckled by one too many children. Get that mank outta here!

5. Know, as with all fashion, that your mank may meet some rejection.

I've stated before, a majority of my friends belong to the creative and the gay communities. We can get away with wearing a hell of a lot more than your more conservative clans. If you are a straight man going to your son's PTA meeting or the bar to watch a game with the boys (not the boyz or bois), then you may not want to break out your mank. Can straight men wear manks? OF COURSE they can! I love a good break with convention and encourage even the burliest of unshaven, rural-dwelling cowboys (yummmmm) to experiment with, well...everything. Just be forewarned. The members of the Mother's Board at church may not be ready for your mank. Some in proverbial "mainstream society" may have some choice words for you.

Who cares? Mank on!