In order to understand my reasoning behind this post, you should probably understand a little about SkinnyIsDead.
I have been called, too many times to count, a hipster. First, I don't believe that those who really belong to a culture feel the need to define themselves. They just live. Second, I'm not nearly as cool as the people I think are "hipsters". Third, I love menswear! I love it so much I love an androgynous aesthetic on women. It's classic. It's sexy. So many of my blog posts will focus on menswear.
For this "hipster" notion, no, I don't ride a fixed speed bike or own a beach cruiser. I want a beach cruiser, but I'm weird about fat people on bikes. Just me??? No, I don't smoke cigarettes standing outside of dive bars...anymore. I recently quit unless you're offering me a menthol...let's go. No, I don't have an ironic finger moustache tattoo. Yes, I do have a tattoo of a duck wearing a scarf and sneakers. No, I don't know about cool bands years before everyone else. Yes, I do spend hours digging around online for music that I pray never reaches Top 40 radio. No, I don't have a "full-time job" or "benefits", and yes, my bank...ahem ahem...parents, still offer a large amount of financial assistance so that I can go to school, learn more, and be even more pretentious than I already am. Do I love the shit out of some cheap beer and some electro beats? In the name of all that is Daft Punk and the soon to be released Tron: Legacy soundtrack...Y.E.S.
In a nod to Sojourner Truth, "Ain't I a Hipster"?
On with the (fashion) show.
This summer in Chicago, I've had the dis/pleasure of running into several men wearing a mank. In the places I frequent (which are pretty much school, art events, concerts, work, and the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry's Mission to Marzipan) I've seen several manks. A mank is man tank top. A mank top. Not the athletic wear tank top. A fashion piece popularized partially by the current obsession with the flailing company American Apparel. Personally, I find absolutely nothing wrong with the mank. Unless the mank ends up on the wrong man. Here and now, I extend to you:
SkinnyIsDead's Five Simple Rules to Wearing a Mank
1. Know your mank acceptable locale.
Don't wear your mank to a corporate job. No one wants you standing over their TPS reports with your gnarly arm pit hair stabbing them in the eyeball.
2. Know your body.
I tend not to go sleeveless. You see, a large amount of my body fat has accumulated in my upper arm so that the length of my arm somewhat resembles a cooked drumstick from any member of the poultry family. If you have unpproportional arms, the mank may not be for you. It's ok, we've got shorty shorts!
3. Know your sweat level.
Nothing ruins the allure of the mank like a neck, back, or arm pit sweat ring. If you hit the trifecta and have all three, I'll probably offer to escort you to the nearest Walgreen's or CVS to buy some deodorant. Unless you are a DJ, are at an outdoor festival in sweltering heat, or are wearing a sports-appropriate tank, you should never have a sweaty mank.
4. Know your mank has an age limit.
As the old adage goes, you're only as old as you feel, but I personally think the mank works best on the 0-40 crowd. If you a taut 60 year old with killer pecs, get your mank out. But, if you're in the perils of midlife crisis and your breasts resemble those of your wife whose tits have been suckled by one too many children. Get that mank outta here!
5. Know, as with all fashion, that your mank may meet some rejection.
I've stated before, a majority of my friends belong to the creative and the gay communities. We can get away with wearing a hell of a lot more than your more conservative clans. If you are a straight man going to your son's PTA meeting or the bar to watch a game with the boys (not the boyz or bois), then you may not want to break out your mank. Can straight men wear manks? OF COURSE they can! I love a good break with convention and encourage even the burliest of unshaven, rural-dwelling cowboys (yummmmm) to experiment with, well...everything. Just be forewarned. The members of the Mother's Board at church may not be ready for your mank. Some in proverbial "mainstream society" may have some choice words for you.
Who cares? Mank on!
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