Wal-Mart Couture

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." - Oscar Wilde


Fashion.  In Missouri.  Quite an oxymoron, really.  Where I grew up, fashion ranged from Wal-Mart Couture to JC Penney Chic.  Every once in a while, someone would step out in their REAL fancy clothes, and the style might step up a notch to Macy's Haute.  You can find half of my town shamelessly photographed on People of Wal-Mart.  To elaborate, I grew up in a town where fashion was non-existant.


Everyone asks the question, "What makes you qualified to be part of the "Fashion Police"?"  My answer?  Absolutely nothing... nothing beyond the fact that I'm not afraid to tell you that those jorts are horrendous, those sandals are only fashionable on Jesus, and that floral shirt should be part of a poor man's funeral arrangement.  I have a loose tongue and habitual word-vomit, and I'm not afraid to use them.  


Fashion does not mean 6'o, 100lbs, and perfect.  Fashion is merely a compilation of style, personality, and charisma, rolled into articles of clothing and a few accessories.  And lets be honest... Everyone cares about fashion in one way or another.  Oh, you claim you don't care about fashion?  Did you not take a second glance at those wrangler jeans to make sure they looked good with your belt buckle and button down this morning?  


I'm a little spunky, a lot mouthy, and super enthused about Fashion Rehabbing the people of Missouri - Lindsay Lohan style.  I spend my weekends getting shitty drunk to the "bump-its and uggs" game, and my work week keeping a tally of "Things I find unattractive" (nearly enough items to put my book in print). 


Feel free to criticize, debate, and support our claims to fashion knowledge.  Tell me why those Jimmy Choo's are out of season, and that Alexander McQueen (RIP) dress is only fit for a Lady Gaga theme party.  Comment, pass along the word, and for God's Sake, throw away those jean skirts and uggs!