“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.” - Mae West

Hello my name is Fashion.

No, you can call me SkinnyIsDead. She is. I ate her. You know why? Because I'm tired of Skinny thinking she's better than me. Because while Skinny was fitting in clothes at 5-7-9, I was...well, I was at the food court getting some Chick-Fil-A. While Skinny was flirting with boys, I was blowing them under the bleachers. While Skinny was becoming Homecoming Queen, I was getting shit-faced with the gays in the parking lot. So, what I've learned while not getting nearly as much acclaim as Skinny, is that I am fantastic. In time, I will be your best friend.

My friend asked me to be a contributor to the fashion blog because well, for lack of better words, I am one of the most unapologetically opinionated and inappropriate bitches on the face of the earth.

I figure the best way to begin a blog posting in which I am going to spout insights to people I may never encounter in public is with a brief introduction.

I'm me.

That's all I can say. I've been told I am "the most interesting contradiction" by a close friend. But for the purpose of brevity, I will answer the questions put forth to contributors for this blog and preview topics on which I plan to write.

Fashion Qualifications: Am I qualified to talk about fashion? Is ANY ONE qualified to discuss fashion? I am in art school. I am aware of the aesthetic, color theories, design sense, etc. However, I also know that most true art demolishes the rules. I am qualified to communicate. I am indeed a Master at that. I like to write, I think I'm funny, and I ingest studying people, fashion, music, and popular culture like it's my job...what more could you ask for?

Topics of Discussion: I bring a different perspective to fashion. A.) I'm 6'1". I'm probably taller than you. I can't find pants like you. B.) I'm a chubbster. I'm probably fatter than you. I can't find cute, affordable, publicly wearable clothing like you. C.) I'm a third time college student living in Chicago. I'm poorer than you. I can't afford clothes like you. Instead of running away from all these limitations, I embrace them and provide you with reasons why no matter what your physique or your budget, there is no excuse for looking a hot mess...ever.

Designer Roll Call For Summer/Fall 2k10 Looks (in 3 words or less):

Vera Wang: I love Asians.

Tom Ford: Nicholas Hoult modeling.

*If you haven't checked out that crow about to bite that poor girls nipple on his website...do it. Immediately.

Catherine Malandrino: Chic simplicity - cliche

Carolina Herrera: RED. TWEED. LOVE.

Oliver Peoples: The tortoise Donnelly.

L.A.M.B: Gwen, website...now!

*honestly, I'm torn on this brand. Half is hideous, half is basically my style exactly.

Dsquared: DEAN & DAN = PERFECT MAN!

*Ok, you want a favorite? Hands down. This brand is the perfect mix of LuxuriouslyComfortableTraditionallyModernOrgasmicSex.

Oscar de la Renta: Fall colors POP!

That's me, folks! Can you handle it?